When I work with my life coaching clients in DC and beyond, I often explain that my job is to be their sounding board – and more importantly – their mirror. Think back to a time you looked in a distorted mirror. It may have been at a carnival fun house, or a reflection in your car window. Parts of you didn’t look quite right, and you knew it. Good mirrors show people what they truly are in an undistorted, simple, straightforward way. They allow us to adjust a collar, get a stray hair back into place, get the food out of our teeth.
Not every one of my life coaching clients likes it when I tell them I will be their mirror at first. At different stages in our lives, it may sound strange. We don’t think we should be looking at ourselves so much; we’re looking outside of ourselves for the answers, or for someone else to tell us what to do. We’re afraid to look closely at ourselves, or we’re pretty sure we won’t like what we see. We might know we need to make changes, but we’re not sure which ones, or we’re not ready to make them. Maybe we don’t trust that what we see in the mirror will take us where we need to go. I’m here to tell you: that’s all perfectly normal and okay.
I believe looking in the figurative “mirror” of life coaching is not only the best thing you can do for yourself, it’s is the one thing that you owe yourself to do frequently – and it will have an instant, positive impact on your life.
When You Can’t Find a Good “Mirror”
Some people receive almost constant feedback on their performance – from peers about what’s working and what’s not working, from management, from friends, from family, from bosses. But for leaders, especially entrepreneurs and C-level executives, feedback can be hard to come by. No one wants to be the one to tell someone in authority that he or she has areas that could be improved. Many executives keep a shield around themselves to keep employees from seeing their weaknesses, faults or failures. Even managers who welcome critique may not get honest answers. Sometimes it’s hardest to see the wart on our own nose.
Leaders who want to improve hire coaches to help them through this process. Taking a long, hard look into the mirror of coaching allows them to see what they don’t normally see, but others may see daily.
The problem I’ve found for folks who already have the “mirror” of friends, family and other well-intentioned people in their lives … is exactly that these people are there! If you are “stuck” or contemplating a big change, your friends, family, peers and colleagues may be very supportive … but may not actually act in a way that helps you accomplish your goals. These people often want the best for you, but also have vested interests in things working out in a particular way. Worst case scenario, they may actually be part of the reason you are “stuck” in a place you don’t want to be!
Need an ally in this work? Whether you’re getting too much feedback or not enough, taking that first honest look in the mirror can be hard. As a coach, I believe that we can change our lives one day at a time. We’re not broken, and we don’t need fixing. We have everything within ourselves to create the life we’ve always dreamed of. With the right tools, powerful questions and the intention to create something great, we can determine where we want to be, and get there. We can look ourselves in the face, be honest about what we see, and take steps to claim the life we always knew we were meant to live.
Contact me today for a complimentary, no-obligations life coaching consultation to explore the possibilities. Or use the Appointment Scheduler and pick a time that works for you. I coach 90% of my clients over the phone, and my Washington, DC-based Life Coaching clients have the option of meeting with me in person. I look forward to hearing from you.